My Article on North Indian Weddings

 Taking a cue from my FB post some years back, I am tempted to write this piece  which I hope senior readers will find interesting  and sensible.

Wedding season in Delhi continues taking a toll of evenings of senior citizens like me🤨. In my view, senior citizens should be exmpted from attending these receptions. Their blessings should be accepted by reps or post / email. When will weddings in the north be made simpler affairs, I wonder ?

The spreads are becoming more lavish and the decor more garish. Yes a wedding is a happy occasion and deserves to be celebrated with family and friends,but the receptions tend to be formal and repetitive. Long queues of guests to greet /  bless  and give gifts to the newly married couples seated on decorated thrones on a Dias  with red carpets   laid out and steps to climb up .

There are not one or two but several lavish functions preceding the Reception like Haldi/ Mehndi/ Ladies Sangeet. The groom rides a decorated horse with his friends and family dancing in front accompanied by live Band playing old Bollywood numbers. The arrival of Barat gets inordinately delayed with the horse owner and Band Party egging the hosts on since they have other commitments lined up the same evening. After the “Dwar Char”  by elderly ladies of the Bride’s  family,  the Baratis finally enter the venue decorated gate while rose petals and Gulab Jal ( Rose Water) is sprinkled on them by youngsters from the Bride’s family. 

The groom riding a horse in more a Punjabi/ Haryanvi and Rajasthani tradition. Hailing from Rohilkhand in UP, our grooms do not ride horses but wearing a “ Safa” and a Sherwani are compulsory.

This reminds me of my “ Pitaji’s” ( Dad’s) Shadi ( wedding) when he was made to sit on a decorated elephant being driven by a “Mahawat” applying the iron “Ankush” to control his walk. The elephant had been administered Rum to make his walk more “ mast”( swinging). The  drunk elephant refused to sit when the groom had to get off despite the Mahawat applying Ankush several times. My father being very punctual and fit looked at his watch and jumped off holding the turban ( Safa) in his hands and landed safely not to miss the Shubh Mahurat of his wedding 😊

As the “Shubh Mahurat Ghadi” of the Wedding approaches,the Bride emerges under a curtain led by her brothers to exchange garlands ( Var Mala) which is also prolonged with the Groom being lifted by his friends to make the Bride also being physically lifted. When the Flowers Garlands are finally exchanged they are led to the Mandap for the 7 rounds of the holy fire while the Pandit’s loudly recite Vedic Shlokas. This again becomes a competition between the Pandits from the 2 sides.

Oh I forgot the traditional “ Joota Churai” of the Bridegroom by young girls of Bride’s family and the cash doled out by the Groom to retrieve his shoes before the Wedding “ Pheras” take place.

And the wedding attires of the groom and bride are bought from boutiques worth several thousand rupees. And put away ( wasted). Wish these were also available to hire to save hard earned money 🤔

After the wedding is the “ Vidai / Rukhsat” of the bride to her Sasural in Palki or horse drawn carriage in royal style. It was customary for the carriage being subjected to coins thrown by elders in the family to be collected by the poorer sections living or working in the bride’s home. The rich Zamindar families used to throw bag fills of gold/ silver coins 😊

The display of wealth and splendour by Rajas and Zamindars made some sense in the era gone by but why now ? Do these ensure  marital bliss for the couple 🤔

After the bride’s arrival in her Sasural she is made to enter after kicking a Lota filled with water and sprinkle rice at the entrance.Later the ladies gather and perform “ Muh  Dikhai” when the bride was made to sit on a wooden Parka - sing and dance and given money as gifts after her face was seen by all the elderly ladies.

I am not aware of any other religion globally which performs weddings so ritualistically. Christian Weddings take place in Churches, The Qazi comes and performs Niqah ( wedding)

After fixing the Meher (money) which the groom agrees to give his wife after the Talaq ( divorce)asking the Bride if she accepts the person sitting across as her life partner and if she says “ Yes” the Wedding is solemnised. Muslim weddings are contractual.Sikh weddings are performed in Gurudwaras by worshipping the Guru- Granth  Sahib as their holy book. Yes Receptions are held but not on very lavish scale. 

Weddings in our Southern states are also quite simple where all invitees sit on chairs in halls and served lunch by the bride’s family after the wedding has been performed and the guests  are introduced and give gifts to the newly -weds ….

Reviiving My Blog After Many Years

Reviving my blog today after many years on  being urged by my youngest nephew Manu Chandra who has kept up the inetrest in home gardening in our family inherited by me from Pitaji, my father an avid gardener. Curiously and happily I find that Manu's younger son Rishabh. who is just 09 years old has also shown a passion for gardening :)

We are visiting my wife's brother Vijay who migrated from Kanpur to Mysuru about 20 years back and now lives withy his family on Mysuru - Coorg Road in a farm house. Vijay is an amazing person for being passionately in love with nature. He developed his love for birds since early childhood which became a passion while growing up. He also keeps and rears pet dogs and grows flowers' fruits and fruits. He now possesses one of the finest collection of birds from distant lands, especially pheasants.Shailey, my wife and I have been visiting Vijay and family in Mysuru very frequently since my retirement from Govt service about 15 years ago to get away from the heat dust and pollution of Delhi where we live. Dehi experienced unprecedented heat waves in April and Vijay continued to becon us to come and spend some days with him to enjoy the cool weather and fruits growing profusely in his farm home. He kept sending us photos of Mangoes, Lichis and Sharifas he was tending wearing woolens while we were sweating in Dilli !

I noticed that Shailey my wife was also yearning to meet and spend time with her only brother and his family. Abhiram and Ankur, our sons were also egging us to go and spend some time with their Bijju Mama .So we finally took a flight to Bangaluru and an AC cab two days back  to reach his home after a 5 hours long drive through the lush green surroundings dotted with beauriful temples and restaurants offering South Indian vegetarian and non vegetarian delicasies. We stopped for 30 min on the way to have lunch in " Kamath" a land mark restauranr which offers meals seved on Banana leaves cooked traditionally with the best spices. 

It was a long journey but definitely worth it .Vijay had vacated his master bedroom with large double bed and bay windows facing East overlooking the flowers and fruit laden trees to enjoy after waking up.

Vijay has engaged services of “ Devaiyya” a local cook with more than 25 years experience in a Co GuestbHouse owned by a British family. He is a fantastic cook of both veg and non veg delicacies with a pronounced Karnataka  flavour. He asked what we would like to have for lunch and dinner. I opted for Drumsticks ( Sahjan) beans curry with made with fresh Coconut and Sambhar rice for lunch 😋

Vijay informed that Mysuru had witnessed incessant rains for almost one month leading to destruction of his home vegetables grown in the back yard and wild grass growth all over. His Mangoes crop was also affected badly. 

I am posting a few photos taken with my IPhone 11 and stored on Google photos to illustrate the wide variety of flowers and fruits Vijay is growing in his farm house. He personally wakes up early to feed his birds and keep their cages clean safe and secure, lamenting that he was not getting Malis from the local village to work for him except for one old man Madho. Vijay works personally with his Malis and masons to make sure that they do their best and not while away their time from morning till afternoon .